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Enough Already: Walking Out on a First Date

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It’s the worst of times. Sitting across from a guy that’s not for you. It doesn’t matter why. He’s boring. You have nothing in common. Or maybe, despite your desire to be polite, you keep staring at your phone, wishing you were streaming an episode of Game of Thrones. Social convention implies you’re stuck. You consider how you’d feel if someone walked out on you under the same circumstances. (Would you honestly want a guy that sees nothing in you to sit there?)

You feel you have to stick it out, even if the guy won’t stop talking about his mother.

Sitting out an obviously bad date shouldn’t be an obligation. For the record, there are specific conditions under which you can end the evening early without feeling bad.

  • If the guy lied about anything – anything! – you have a right to walk away. This is especially true in a world where online dating rules. There’s nothing shallow about resenting a guy showing up overweight and bald when his profile images showed a trim, curly-haired, fit guy you could eat. Simply make it clear you don’t like being lied to and get out of there.
  • Should any aspect of his personality make you outright uncomfortable – especially if it only gets worse as the date progresses – don’t punish yourself. You don’t have to be stuck with a racist, sexist, distressing body odor or bad breath.
  • Watch for false characteristics that actually present an idea of who they truly are. He might be the sweetest thing when he’s staring in your eyes, but he’s rude to the server, pushy with the bartender and condescending to the cabbie. Trust that once he’s comfortable with you, expect the same treatment.
  • Many women will use ill health to get out of a date, but that doesn’t mean it’s a cliché. You could very well be overworked, stressed, hungover and simply not in the mood to entertain. Even if you like the guy, staying isn’t the best idea. Besides, if they really like you and you’re polite about it, a second date would be inevitable anyway.
  • Trust your instincts. If you get a bad vibe, it’s probably a good idea to take off.

As stated, don’t let social convention force you into finishing an unwanted date. Feel free to tell them this isn’t working and leave – alone! Even if it’s bad taste, there’s still nothing wrong with saying you’re going to the bathroom and heading for the exit (or climbing out a window).

This leads to one important thing about first dates: do not let the guy pick you up at your place, especially if you live alone. Avoid having personal information in online communities. If he asks where you live, give him the general neighborhood. If he presses for more information about your address, your creep alarm should go off. A nice guy will want to get to know you on your terms, understanding he’s a stranger and doesn’t get the full package until you’re ready.

to read the entire article go to http://phoenixfitness.lifestyleezine.com

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